Christmas..

It's that time of the year again. The time when elves and fat guys in red suits appear in freakishly alarming numbers. The time when gifts are exchanged. The time when everyone is happy and joyful. I guess you got it by now, yeah, it's Christmas time ! To tell you the truth, i'm not really fond of Christmas. Ever since puberty, it has just been an ordinary day for me. You guys know what I mean, Christmas is only enjoyed by the kids. I'm not trying to be a grinch or anything like that, but I just don't enjoy Christmas anymore. Last Christmas was really a bummer for me. I was pissed because I thought that I would already be out of the country by that time. Oh my, now I would kill to be able spend Christmas back home. Oh well, that's life. At least I would be able to see some snow. haha !

can't think of anything..

It's almost 10pm here in London. I'm already quite sleepy, but I don't want to hit the hay sack just yet. I'm feeling quite bored that's why I decided to write on my blog. What will I write about ? Well, I haven't seen Athena in ages ! BUMMER ! I'll write about that some othere time. The Lakers are kicking ass !! Unfortunately,I'm not feeling very sporty right now. Let's see, My job ? It's still the same. Me and Jayne ? Well, we're still together. What is happening ? I've always considered my noodle to be pretty interesting and creative, it seems that i've hit some kind of a stalemate. I can't think of anything to write about. Waaaaaaa ! I won't let this post end without something that would be worth reading. THINK ! THINK ! THINK ! Ay carumba ! I can't think of anything.. I give up.. I'll try again sometime.. Peaceout.

this is it..

Last week I went to my beloved university to attend some lectures. As you all know, I was on social purgatory the last time I was there. I really couldn't stand being the odd man out. This time, it's so freakin different. I was so happy and confident while being there. To sum it all up, i had a blast ! The fun all started when I was waiting for my beloved jayne to arrive at the train station. While I was waiting for her, I decided to sit down and drink a cup of coffee while reading a local newspaper. While I was catching up on my current events, Ate aileen suddenly called on my mobile. My phone was on silent mode that was why I wasn't able to answer it. I gave her a callback and we had a very interesting chat. She told me that she called me earlier and a girl had answered my phone (wtf??). She wasn't sure if she had dialled the right number, she immediately asked my mobile number. To my suprise, this little incident had already reached jayne (wtf??) They both thought that I was cheating! hahaha.. (would never do that to jayne.. I love her!). Jayne eventually reached the train station and we went straight to Hertfordshire. When we got there,we checked in on our hotel room. We spent a couple of minutes to rest and the we went out to grab something to eat. Jayne and I were both craving for some chinese food, so we went to the local chinese restaurant and chowed down on authentic chinese food. When we were about to leave, ate aileen suddenly gave us a call, she told us that she will arrive in hatfield within 2 hours. With nothing to do, Jayne and I decided to just chill on our hotel room. We bought some beer and crisps. We were about to drink our beers when ate aileen suddenly called. She said that she was already in hatfield and that we should meet her immediately. Our beers were already in our hands, it wasn't opened yet, the most logical thing to do would be to just leave it in our room and meet ate aileen. Unfortunately, we are not logical people. We convinced each other to just drink it as fast as we can, We counted 1.. 2.. 3.. drink.. haha.. we drank down 500ml of cider in less than 30 seconds. haha ! Now that's what you call drinking. We went to a nearby shopping mall in order to meet ate aileen. When we saw her, hugs were immediately given out and we decided to go to the nearby grocery. After buying some stuff, ate aileen was somewhat hungry, that is why we went to a subway to buy some sandwiches. While ate aileen was eating, we were talking about how we are related (we're really not ! haha..) My mother's maiden name is banal, while ate aileen's husband has banal as his surname. See the relationship ? hehe.. Out of the blue, Jayne asks ate aileen what is her surname.. haha ! We exchanged sarcastic stares and then suddenly burst out in laughter. Everybody knows ate aileen's name. It's Aileen Lavina Banal. To add insult to injury, jayne added a follow up qustion, she asked, ate, what is your maiden name ? hahaha.. we again burst into laughter. I don't know what happened to my gf that night, mayber it was the beer ? haha. The next day, Jayne and I woke up early to check my bank account and grab some breakfast. It was 6am and we were already outside. It was so freakin cold during that time. There was also no one on the road. haha.. Jayne and I decided to do some monkey howls while we were walking. hahaha.. people on their cars was looking at us while we were walking. haha.. they looked so confused and bewildered as to why we were acting like monkeys. haha.. it was so hilarious. When 10am came, we went to the uni in order to attend our lectures. It was pretty normal, we sat there, not listening and making comments to whatever or whomever we saw. In the lecture theater, we saw our old friend luli ( she's called luli because of her similarity to the first daughter of the philippines). She was wearing a new hairstyle. She just cut her hair short. Unfortunately, because of her new hairstyle, she now looks like the president of the philippines. haha.. isn't that ironic ? hence, the quotation, the luli is now a glory was born. hehe. While we were walking to the bus stop, we told ate aileen that we were gonna confess something to her, and we're gonna tell her later. UNfortuantely, she couldn't wait and she forced us to tell it. hehe.. The confession was about her voicemail.. Jayne and I were laughing at it for 2 mOnths now. We find her voicemail message so funny. We actually recorded it. haha.. " HI ! THIS IS AILEEN, BUSY RIGHT NOW, YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO ! hahaha.. we were surprised that she didn't got mad. She told us that she'll record a new voicemail message that will go like this, " HOY NAPI AT GUITANG, PARA SA INYO ITO.. MGA PUTANG INA NYO KAYONG DALAWA !" HAHAHA.. The day was now finished, we walking towards the bus stop, and then I mentioned something about the song i finally found someone.. out of nowhere, all three of us were now sinnging the song. haha.. i was imitating brian adams' husky voice, and they were doing the bit of barbara streisand. haha.. it was so funny. While we where waiting for the bus, we just kept singin and singing. haha.. The people around us, was now looking weirdly at us. We decided to eat then go watch a movie. We watched the movie 2012.. oh my God ! the movie was so freakin awesome. We were literally on the edge of our seats because of the excitement of the movie. When we got out of the movie theater, it was so cold. We couldn't talk properly because our tongues were frozen. haha. Ate aileen was talking about some resto back in the philippines, she suddenly mentioned richard gomez, because her tongue was frozen, it came out as RITSARD. haha.. we all bursted into laughter.. hahaha.. We were laughing so freakishly hard that our faces suddenly hurt. haha. The bisaya accent didn't stop there, it grew and grew. haha.. Our special vocabulary now included, riserts,tsirt,switsirt,kats me if you can, awts, etc.. That was just so much fun. When we got to our hotel room, we decided to have some drinks, we invited ate aileen over, when she entered our room, Jayne and I was so suprised on what she was wearing. She had a rocker type tshirt as her top, then she had jogging pants then some doll shoes. hahaha.. talk about mixing and matching. We drank up intil we got sleepy. The next day was like any other day, we attended our classes and didn't gave a damn on what the lecturer was saying. When the day was over, Jayne and I agreed to buy some pizza for our dinner. We asked ate aileen if she wanted to join us. She said that she was still full. So we got on the bus and headed for the hotel. When we were walking towards the lobby, we were discussing what pizza to buy.. then out of nowhere, ate aileen said, ok, i'll join you guys, what type of pizza will we buy ? hahaha.. talk about a change of heart.. and so, we spent the night eating pizza. Earlier during the day, we were trying to buy some university seatshirts. The three of us couldn't decide on what color to buy, we thought that because we call ourselves team banana, then we sould buy the yellow one. haha.. look at the pic above ! All our other friends also bought sweatshirts. And so, we spent our last night taking silly pictures with our university sweatshirts on. haha.. now that's what you call school spirit ! hehe.. tHe next was kindi sad because it was our last day. hays,, it was gonna be a long time when we see each other again. hays. To sum it all up, they're my two bestfriends here. Im gonna be there for them whenever they need me. So think twice if you want to mess with them.. haha ! /gg

damn..

Things aren't going so well for jayne lately ! Let's just say that she has a problem. This brings us to my gigantic problem. I can't seem to lift her spirits up. Damn ! After we became together, I promised to her and everyone else that we know that im gonna take good care of her. That I will support her with whatever she encounters. The time has come that she needs me so much. Unfortunately, nothing that I do seems to be working. I'm her boyfriend for crying out loud. I need to be able to make her happy in her darkest hour. I feel so useless right now. I can sense in her voice that she's not happy. Damn ! I hope I figure something out. It really kills me that I can't make her smile. Damn you Barbara !

the truth..

jayne guitang = happiness

i love her so much..

I feel so alone !

Loneliness has struck again! I don't why, but i'm feeling so lonely nowadays. I feel so alone and isolated. Maybe it's because of what has happened to me and you-know-who, i'm not really sure. I really miss her so much. Damn ! Why does this have to happen ? I really love her so much. If only people didn't make stories. It also pisses me off that THEY didn't even wanted to hear me out. They dropped the bomb and I was caught off guard. I really liked her, she was definitely something else. haaay ! Anyway, I feel so lonely again. It's like being back to square one. I'm yearning for my friends and family once again. Damn.. Honestly, I want to go home. I don't think I can bear this kind of loneliness again. I hope something good happens soon. Thinking about what has happened is making me crazy. When I was back home, when I get these type of problems, alcohol usually solves it. But not this time, it's so different. I guess cupid has me on a chokehold. I want to go back to my former self again. Because right now, all my smiles are forced. There's really nothing to lift up my spirit. I really hope something nice happens. I just have to be strong for the mean time. I can overcome this.. Oh GOD please help me with this one.

why are you guys mad at me ?

Have you ever heard of karma ? you know, the mystical force that evens out all the wrong doings in the world. Well, I think the dude who’s in charge of giving out karma is pissed with me. Damn. It all started out a couple of months ago. I was in a relationship with this girl. She was really nice and kind. Any guy would be so lucky to have her. To be honest, I really didn’t have feelings for her. I thought that the feelings will comew once we’re together. I was really lonely during that time, I really needed someone who will comfort me. That was why I decided to enter into a relationship with her. This was a mistake. I was really so stupid. What was I thinking ? I had no feelings for the girl, why did I want to be with her? I t was a mistake. She deserves to be happy, she deserves someone else. While my girlfriend and I were together, I was secretly in love with another girl. This girl was a close friend of mine. She’s truly something special. A breathe of fresh air that came into my life. She had everything that I was looking for in a girl. I really wanted to be with her. But because I was still in a relationship, I just kept my feelings to myself. I just continued with my relationship, as my feelings for my friend grew and grew. One day, my girlfriend noticed that I wasn’t truly happy with her. She gave me some time to think if a I wanted to continue our relationship. After thinking about everything, I realized that I would just be hurting her if we continue with our relationship. That is why we broke up. After a day, I was attending a class with the girl that i’m in love with. She encountered a little trouble with her bus. She needed a place to spend the night in. My house was just near the university, that is why I graciously asked her if she wanted to stay at my place. Well, she agreed. She slept here for a night. I stayed up the whole night watching her sleep ( stalker ?.. haha). She was just so pretty. I said to myself, I wish she’s my girlfriend. The next couple of weeks would be one of the happiest for me. We were constasntly talking and talking. She was just so fun to be wtih. Time flies by when we talk. We agree on everything. We like the same things. It’s like being with your clone. One rainy night, I decided to tell her how I feel about her. To my suprise, she felt the same way. She told me that she’s not yet comfortable with us being together, she needed time to think it through. Even if we weren’t together, I was still so freakin happy. I felt like I was on top ofthe world. Never have I felt this way for a gril. After a few days, my ex-girlfriend sent me a message. She asked why was I talking shit about her ? She said that I should leave her alone becuase we are already finished. I really didn’t know what she was tlaking about, that is why I just ignored her. When night time came, the girl that i’m in love with sent me a text message. She also asked why was I talking shit about her? Our friends were also asking why was I making such horrendous statements. This is where the karma stuff enteres. My ex girlfriend is mad at me, the girl that I like doesn’t want to talk to me, and my friends are mad at me. Shit ! Damn you karma dude ! To be honest, I really don’t know why they’re mad at me. They just all talked to each other and decided to be mad at me. They didn’t even hear me out. Damn ! I don’t really care if my Ex is mad at me, I didn’t do anything wrong. I don’t care if she stays mad. Well, with my friends, it’s a completely different story. I truly care about them, I don’t know what to do . That’s ironic because I don’t even know what I did in the first place. I hope they forgive me for whatever it is that I did. Damn ! it’s so unfair. For the girl that I love, I can’t bear her being mad at me. I really love her so much. Damn ! She told me to forget everything that she told me that night. Huhu.. I hate you karma dude !

paksyet..

i'm so freakin lazy. I haven't started my summatives yet.

for her.. again.

If you only you knew,
That I have fallen for you..
Even I didn’t have a clue,
That my heart,
Wanted more with you..

Surely,
Our friendship will be through,
If I ask for more than what is due..
That is why,
With you,
I have no idea on what to do.

One thing is for certain though,

What I feel for you,
It really is true..
I want to be the one who’ll make you happy
Cause to hurt you,
That I can never ever do.

If only you knew.

homesick.

Being away from from my family really really sucks. I really miss them so much. I can't really put into words the loneliness that I feel. Eventhough I am living with a great bunch of people, I still feel so lonely and alone. I've already been here for 3 months. I should already be well adjusted and not in my current state. But that is not the case. Whenever I am chatting with them, I make it look like that I am fine here, but deep inside, I am a mess. I really want to go home. I am having a really hard time here. I have to worry about so many things that I know nothing about. Damn ! why did I even go here ? What was I thinking ? I don't think the money that I earn can compensate for what I am feeling right now. Homesickness has gotten over me. Damn ! I hope that i'll be able to conquer this. huhuhu..

major dillemma.

There's this girl which I really like. She's fun, pretty, smart etc.. Everything that I find attractive in a girl, she has it. I'll do anything for us to be together. I think i'm in love with her. Damn. But, there's this little problem. We are really close friends. Most of you might consider this as a pro, more than a con. Unfortunately, things are pretty different. You see, she and I are part of a pretty tight group of friends. This group is the only thing that keeps me happy here. Not a day passes by that I don't think of them. I think of them as family now. You have no idea on how I look forward to our meetings. Being with this group of people is my own personal heaven. Let's go back to the girl. What if things don't work out between us ? The most logical thing that can happen is we will avoid each other. That means one of us will need to leave the group. Am I willing to take this tremendous risk ? haaaays. The group has mixed feelings about my little dillemma. Some of them told me to take things slow, and think about it. Some of them tell me that I should go for her immediately. One of them told me that if I should make a move, I need to make sure that I will truly care for her and never ever hurt her. To be honest, I really do have strong feelings for this girl. I want to be with her. I want to take care of her. I want to make her happy. I'm really confused. I don't know what to do. hays. I hope i'll figure this out.

tula na nman.. haha !

The whole word knows..
That she’s the one that my heart yearns for.
The girl that I love and adore.
With each passing day more and more.
For someone, i’ve never felt this way before.
Every moment I ponder.
On, if I should ever tell her.
Unfortunately, that I just can’t conquer.
Being together is still a blur.
So many things still make me wonder.
I really hope that to her, I really matter.
Cause nothing in this will be better,
If this girl and me,
Will finally be together.

library time..

We don't have a lecure today, just a lot of awesome free time. Unfortunately, the weather is not that good today. That is why my friends and I decided to go to the library. The library of my university is so freakin awesome. There are gazillions of books here. It's a paradise for geeks and nerds. I really don't have anything to do here. I just came here to fool around with my friends. I spend majority of my time here wiht inang guitang. I'm having a blast with her, it's like being with a girl version of myself ( but with a darker complexion ! haha ). So that is why being here is not that boring. Actually, i'm really enjoying it Yeah boy !

that's life..

Problems, problem, problems.. It's the best way to describe my current situation. When I was growing up, I literally had nothing. I had to depend on some people in order to live. I really envied the lives of my friends. They can buy have whatever the hell they wanted. Whenever I wanted something, more often than not, I wasn't able to get it. It seems that I missed out on a lot of things because of my financial shortcomings. Hays. When I became a nurse, there was a sudden glimmer of hope for my family. They all depended on me to bring them out of poverty. A tremendous responsibility was put on my shoulders. I really don't think that it was fair for me to carry this burden at such a young age. I should still be just living at home and not worrying about anything else. I should just still be hanging out with my friends and doing a lot of stupid things. Hays. Life is so unfair. Why is it that I always have to take the difficult road. The one full of problems and misery. When will I be able to just sit back and relax without thinking of any freakin problems. Hayz.. I hope I will get my turn someday. =(

wonderful - ja rule feat r. kelly

Hell yeah I splurge money
Hell yeah I act funny
Look at you like fuck you
All the shit I been thru
It's a wonder why im still here
Said I was gone but im still here
And all you bitches that left me here
Its mighty strange how you right back here.

If it wasn't for the money, cars and movies stars and jewels
And all these things I got
I wonder, hey
Would you still want me (Want you)
Would you still be calling me (Still calling you)
You be loving me? (I'll be loving you)


- yeah boy.. I can relate !

something is still missing..

I have so many things going for me. I don't know why, but I think lady luck is on my side now. Money is finally coming my way. I can buy all the stuff that I only dreamt of having before. At the same time, I can also help finance the schooling of my sisters. Not bad for a 21 yr old dude. hehe. I'm also living with a great bunch of people. They're so kind and considerate. I really feel right at home when i'm with them. I'm so thankful that i'm living with them right now. Another great aspect of my life right now is school. I really enjoy being with my classmates. When we're all together, it's all jokes and silliness. I can best describe it as a laughfest. Damn, i miss those guys. With regard to the actual school stuff, it's somewhat difficult. It involves a lot of research and writing. I think ii can manage. As you all know, I love to write. Even if all these things are going for me right now, I still feel that there's something missing. Something is not right here. To be honest, i really have no idea what it is. I still feel lonely and miserable. Maybe it's because i'm yearning for my family, maybe it's beacause I so dearly want to be with athena, maybe it's my desire to be with all of my friends back home, or maybe it's because i'm still in love with mimi. I really hope I can figure out what's wrong. Damn !

i miss this grl..

i miss you mimi !

school is cool ?

When I was a student back home, I never really enjoyed going to school. I'd just rather stay home and rest all day. But here, oh my.. I want to go to school everyday! I met some very interesting people and had a freakishly good time with them ( that's an understatement! ). Uhhmm, where can I start ? When I got into our lecture theater, it seemed that majority of them knew each other. They were just chatting and chatting. Listening to their chatter bored me to death so I decided to take a little nap. When I woke up, A guy was coming my way. He was telling his friends that he wanted to sit beside me because he wanted to have a guy talk. He was a nice dude so we hit it off immediately. He introduced me to his girlfriend and friend. We ended up eating lunch at a certain fast food joint. After sitting through an eternity of lectures and discussions, the day finally ended. My new friends were kind enough to let me stay in their hotel room. That night would be outrageous, we just didn't stop laughing. We talked about vibrators, mareng gitang, becoming british ( not taking the proper amount of baths ), the never ending news reports, the weather, etc.. I was so lucky that I was able to find a great set of friends. I just feel so comfortable and happy when i'm with them. The next night was even more fantastic. We bought a pizza and a couple of beers. Two more people joined the group. During that time our hotel room was rockin ! There were no dull moments, just pure unadulterated fun ! damn ! I can't wait till july ! peace out..

i just can't...

My last entry in this blog was about always being mistaken as a chinese dude. Well, after writing that, I decided to text someone very special to me. I texted mimi ! To be honest, I really thought that what I felt for her was gradually fading out. I haven't been thinking of her for a while now. I thought I was finally moving on. Geez, I was wrong ! She sent me a message earlier. It was about some stuff that I prefer to not talk about. When I saw her picture, my God ! I felt a sudden burst of excitement. She's so pretty ! I really miss her so much. Who am I kidding, i'm still so in love with her. It's as if a wall has crumbled inside of me. Hayz. I just can't forget her. ;(

what the f*ck.. i'm not chinese !

People here in London are always asking if i'm chinese. Not a day passes by when i'm not mistaken as a chinese dude. Geez, I don't even think that I look like one. When i'm at work, people keep asking if i'm a monk or do I know any kung fu. What the f*ck. I was on my way to the market earlier. While I was walking, two women called me and said "ni hao" ( mimi told me that it means hello ). I quickly told them that i'm not chinese and i'm a Filipino. Geez, for the record, I'M NOT CHINESE!!! I'M ONE M'FUCKIN PROUD FILIPINO!!! Did you get that ? peace out !

thank you for calling technical support..

Thank you for choosing AT&T internet services, my name is henri, how may I help you today ? That is my opening spill when I was still an agent in Convergys. I miss being an agent. I had really nice friends there. We did nothing but joke around all day ! I literally mean that. Hehe. If I was given a choice, I would have just stayed in the Philippines and continued my career as an agent. The money was good and the job was not that stressful. If only I can turn back the hands of time. Hayz.

there's always a rainbow after a storm

My life was quite miserable when I got here in the UK. Well, things are finally turning around. I think the storm has passed and i'm seeing a rainbow ( i took this photo when I went to Whipp's cross hospital ). I just moved ! I'm now living with a wonderful Filipino family. They are so good to me. They are treating me as if i'm a relative. They are only charging me a very small amount for my accomodation here. Ther are also feeding me, now isn't that great ? While i'm staying here, I think i'll be able to save a lot of money. Even if it was my break today, I still went to my workplace because I needed to talk to the manager. After talking to her, I suddenly bumped into the new nurse of the home. OMG ! She's a Filipina ! I talked to her, she's a very nice lady. I'm so happy that beside from us, there is now another Filipino in my workplace. After talking to the nurse, I decided to have a seat in the lobby. While I was sitting there and staring blankly into space, I noticed that there was someone who was looking at me. It was a new carer. OMG ! She's cute. Oh by the way, she's also a Filipina. Haha ! While she was staring at me, I asked her, Pinoy ? She said, oo ! Then we had a nice little chat. She's really nice, I like her. Haha ! I'm glad that nice things are finally happening to me. I hope that this will go on !

the things that i will do when i get home.

1. umuwi sa bahay.
2. bu2hatin c athena
3. bi2lhan ng mga gamit ang family.
4. tumambay sa tapat ng bahay namin ksma ang tropa.
5. mag baraha sa garahe nila bot.
6. mag baskitbol sa court.
7. pumunta sa starbucks sm perbyu para magkape.
8. mag inom sa gerry's trinoma.
9. kitain ang starbucks buddies.
10. mag yosi sa morayta.
11. pumasok sa feu.
12. isurprise c meow.
13. isurprise c tara frog. ( dapat isurprise ku din c jd, kaso i4got kng san ung hauz nya eh.)
14. kitain ang other friends.
15. pumunta sa ISA.
16. mag pa outing.
17. mag finance ng isang family gathering.
18. bumili ng isang katerbang shuz. ( mega panget ang mga shuz d2 sa uk eh. )
19. mag cmba sa mga peburit ko na cmbahan.
20. mag chill sa bahay.

i can't think of anything to write about..

I started writing on this blog a year ago, it was for a certain person which i'm sure all of you know. Since we ended things up, I stopped writing. I only resumed writing when I came here to London. Living by yourself is a very stressful situation, you just have so many things to worry about. Sometimes, I just want to lie in bed and cry all day. It's that hard! I know I have my family and friends back home. But I really don't want them to find out how miserable I am here. I really don't want them to worry. That's why I just tell them that I am fine here. Writing on this blog helps me release all the tension, stress and loneliness that I feel. I don't really care how many people read my postings. I don't care about what they will say about what I wrote. I write because it calms my mind and my heart. It's my own personal yoga. You may say i'm a geek or nerd. UHHHmmm.. F*ck you.. bwahaha!

I want to give a shoutout to my xi, ms. JADE ELAINE FLORA ! Thanks for putting the link. I miss ya!


visit her blog.. nativechicken.blogspot.com


peace out !

the best of my love..

Have you ever met that one person which you so dearly love. But unfortunately, nothing ever happened between the two of you. Most people label them as, the one who got away. You see, there's this girl which I can't get out of my mind. She's really smart and pretty. Everything that I ever wanted in a girl was in her. I desperately tried so hard to be with her. Well, you guys know what happened. I am now halfway around the world from her. It's been a long time since we last spoke. But she's still the one who I see in my dreams. I really do still love her and I don't think that will be changing anytime soon. Never have I felt this way for someone before. A couple of months back, she asked me what song comes into my mind when I think of her. During that time, I was listening to the best of my love by the eagles. I really didn't know what the song was about. It was the first time that I was listening to it. The title was sweet, so I said that it was my song for her. A couple of minutes ago, I was about to doze off when again she entered my mind ( damn! I miss you so much.. I won't give her name.. ). I suddenly remembered the song, so I downloaded it. After listening to it, I felt kinda weird. The things that happened to us and the lyrics of the song, it's as if it was the soundtrack of whatever it is that we had. Here's a part of the song, take a look.





THE BEST OF MY LOVE

(Eagles)


(D. Henley, G. Frey, J. D. Souther)


Every night I'm lyin' in bed

holdin' you close in my dreams,

thinkin' about all the things that we said

and comin' apart at the seams.



We try to talk it over

but the words come out too rough.

I know you were tryin'

to give me the best of your love.





oh, oh, oh, sweet darling,

you'll get the best of my love.





Translation:



1st stanza:

Up to this day, she's still the one. She has this certain quality that just makes me wanna hug her so tight ( im not a perv!). For me, she personifies the word perfect. When i'm lonely, all I do is replay in my mind the times that we were together. And it never fails to make me smile. I even put a picture of her in my phone. So that I can see her cute little face whenever I want. Could I be more pathetic ? I know that we will never have a happy ending. But there is a part of me which is hoping that a miracle will happen and she is suddenly at my front door. I really miss her so much.

2nd stanza:

When I was courting her, I turned into a DICK! I really treated her badly. I became a big jerk. Let's just say that I was hungry for some time and attention. Unfortunately, she had very little to give. I deserve all the blame for everything that has happened. She didn't really deserve that kind of treatment. Of all the times to screw up and be stupid. Hayz. Once she said to me that I was very important and special to her. That made me the happiest person on the planet. I thought that it was sure that we were gonna be together. Well, so much for my happy ending. On the eve of the Pacquiao vs De La Hoya fight, she said that we needed to talk ( we all know what happens when girls want to talk to you! ). She told me that it's time to stop. She can't return the love that I was giving to her. Her last words were, I really tried to love you.

3rd stanza:

I think it's kinda obvious, I'm still crazy about her.


If you're reading this, I really miss you so much. Hope that you will come here. I'm doing my best to keep my promise to you. I'm working my ass off. I want to see your cute smile again. =)

I've been here for a month now..

By now, I should no longer be lonely. I should now be well adjusted and adapted to my new home. Unfortunately, it isn't happening. I'm still so freaking lonely. Fuck! I'm really so miserable down here. The sad thing is, I don't have anyone to help or console me. I can't tell my family because i'm really sure that they will worry about me ( especially my mamita ! ). The last thing I want to do is make t hem sad because of worrying about me. I can tell my friends about how I feel. But, let's be realistic. I know they won't always be there for me. They all have their own problems to face and lives to live. How I wish I had a girlfirend back home. If I had one, i'm sure she'll be there whenever I need someone. She'll be there whenever loneliness is knocking on my door. Hayz. If only things between Mimi and I worked out. If only Dora didn't left. If only, if only if only.. That's the only thing in my mind right now. Damn! I really want to go home.

english is english ?

I know for a fact that I am capable of communicating with others through the english language. I can speak, read, and write using the said language. As we all know, the Philippines is an Americanized country. So majority of the words that I know are based on the American style of english. Well, the Brits have a different set of terms and words. That's why I often get confused when talking to them. Here are some examples of the words that they use and their translation to our style of english.


fag=cigarette

( i know what you're thinking! haha..)

lift=elevator

chips=french fries

potato flakes=potato chips

john thomas=penis

let=rent

loo=toilet

for=from (ex: fly to portugal from 30 pounds)

require=need ( ex: we urgently require nurses in this hospital)

pub=bar



See what i mean ? haha

Top 5 things an OFW need

This list is for all those aspiring to work abroad....


Trust me with this one..


5. Globe Kapamilya Sim

It's kinda expensive to use this one, you have to put in around 500-1000 worth of credits per month if you want to use this to be able to text your friends and family. If you're saying that i'm biased because i'm promoting globe. Well, it's not what it looks like. Because if you use the smart roaming sim, you won't be able to receive any calls. This is really important. No matter how much your friends and families love you, they wont be able to text you that often if you don't have this. 15-30 pesos per message is just too expensive. If you use this, they will be only charged a peso per message. Believe me, a simple text message from a friend or family member will really brighten up your lonely day.


4. Internet Access

This will help you in hooking up with people back home. There is wide array of applications which can help you connect with the people you love. You can use social networking sites such as friendster of facerbook. Or you can use skype or yahoo messenger for a more interactive method of talking to your friends or family members.


3. Hobby/Form of entertainment

No matter what your work is, i'm sure you will not work everyday. You will have rest days. You need something to keep you occupied during these days. I don't care what you choose. You just need to have one. Because if you just sit around your room the whole day, you will surely think of your freinds and family. That is a big NO NO! Have some fun, never ever let loneliness creep up to you.


2. New Friends

Socialize with the people around you. It's not that hard to find some friends. Being alone will surely result to loneliness and misery. Having someone there for you will really help you in adjusting to your new environment. No man is an island ( what a cliche.. hahaha!).

1. Courage!

I know that we are miles away from home. Away from everything and everyone which we love.
There will be times when we will be lonely because we miss our friend and families. But, but, but, you should remember that we left our homeland for a reason. We left in order to secure the future of our families. Always keep that in mind ! Never ever lose sight of your goal. Life away from home is hard. That is why you need courage in order to fight everything that life throws at you. Remember that GOD will be always at your side. And hey, PINOY tau, kahit ano kaya!


Hope I was able to help...

time really changes everything..

Every now and then I am able to chat with my buddies back home. That's the time when I pick up everything that's happening back home. To my suprise, they're all busy nowadays. I remember the days when we had no worries. We'll just just play ball, drink, and play cards. Damn, I miss those guys. I've literally known them all my life. I couldn't ask for a better set of friends. I'm really lucky to have them. Anyway, hope you guys suceed with what you all are doing. Hey, I made it, i'm pretty sure you'll make it too. Peace out.. Go DAyap !

Lucky me !

Actually, my day didn't start in a perfect manner. When I woke up there was no one who was online in my friends and family. There was also no new text message in my mobile. So I felt sad and kinda neglected. Then I came to work. Well, nothing unusual happened there, some people needed changing, some people were screaming etc... Then suddenly I remembered something, something important will happen today. Then it enetered my mind, IT WAS PAYDAY! My luck suddenly turned. When 2 o'clock came I left my work place and I got on a bus. When I got home, I tried opening the door, I tried and tried, but it never opened. There was no one home! So texted my landlord. Unfortunately, he was doing some shopping in the nearby market. So, I decided to go to the market to meet him and do a little shopping of my own. We wandered around the market streets for around 30 minutes. I wasn't really myself there, my mind was blank. I was just walking and walking, not really giving a damn about anything. Then suddenly, something got my attention. There was a certain shop which has a green can in the display window. It looked kinda familiar to me. So, I went inside the shop to have a better look. When I came inside, OMG, WTF!!!! It was LIGO! A certain brand of canned sardines in the Philippines. The shop that I went inside to was a Filipino store. I wandered around the halls of the shop with a big smile on my face. I was so happy to see Filipino products which I so dearly love. I bought 4 pieces of LUCKY ME PANCIT CANTON ! How lucky am I ? hehe. Being able to see this wonderful shop. Now I'll be able to cook all my favorite dishes. After some time, my landlord and I went home. When we got home I immediately went to my room and surfed the net. After a few minutes, my landlord came to my room and said that I should come with him. To my suprise, he brought me to a betting station. I spent an hour watching horses and hounds. After losing some bets, my landlord decided that it was time to go home. He said that we should buy a couple of beers to help us relax and unwind later, and that we did. When we got home, I again immediately headed to my room to surf the net. While I was patiently trying to find something interesting in the net, my lanlord came again and said that we will have a barbecue tonight. He said that he is doing this in order for us to be happy. Im so lucky ! hehe. So we ate and we drank. I had a pretty good time. While I was drinking, my phone kept on ringing. When I answered it, I had a pretty suprised look on my face. It was a Filipina who was calling me. Her name was Rose. She used to work for the care home where i'm currently working right now. She called me because she has a vacant room in her flat, and she wants to ask if I want to rent it. OMG! WTF!! God is really so good! Before I left my workplace, my flatmate and I had a little talk. He said that he will now be moving out and will be staying with his uncle in Stratford. Right now, I am currently paying 240 pounds per month for my room. Tita Rose was only asking 170 pounds per month, and ther is no deposit. Yeah boy ! In only a span of hours, I went from being alone and lonely, to being able to live with Filipinos.

you'll know what im talking about when you get there..

it's so freakin hard when you're living alone. You have to think about so many things. food, laundry, rent etc.. I'm not rich or anything like that. But, I got so used to living with my parents. This is my first time to live away from them. Im really having a difficult time. I miss the little things that my parents do. The way that my mother always ask me what I want to eat. The endless sports conversations that Ihave with my dad. Damn! I miss my family. I want to go home right now. If only i can. =(

I really dont know why..

The past few weeks have been so hard on me. Since coming here to London, I can't recall a time when I was happy or having fun. I'm really trying hard to adjust and cope up with my new environment. But to no avail. Im really lonely here. I miss so many persons ( my family, friends, athena, mimi, etc ...). Most of the people I meet says that the first month is always the hardest. They say that my loneliness will gradually disappear and i will be just fine. I really hope that happens. I don't think that I will survive here if I will this lonely for a year. Honestly, I really don't want to be here. I know that you guys will tell me that I should make the most of the oppurtunity that has been given to me. My mom says that i'm very lucky because not all Filipino nurses can afford to leave and work abroad. With that said, I guess i'll just have to face the music. Work hard to ensure the future of my family. Eventhough I will be so lonely and miserable. Why does it have to be this way? haaaay.

nothing else comes close..

Since i've been here, i've been able to know quite a number of people. most of them are very good and likable persons. Just like the ones back home. Some of them even consider me as family. Whew. What can i say ? They are really nice. They treat me good. Ask me if im fine. comfort me whenever i'm lonely. I'm really so lucky to have all these people. But, there still a big gap inside of me. And i'm pretty sure that it won't be filled anytime soon. I miss my friends and family. I miss the warm and fuzzy feeling that you have when you are with you're family. I miss the laid back atmosphere when your with your friends. Geez. Still 1 more year to go. Peace out!

im finally here..

after months of hard work, im finally here. here in the land where i can fulfill all of my dreams. well, you might think it's just like a stroll in the park. everything will just instantly appear and come your way. NEWSFLASH! it's not. It's so hard being away from your home ( my hat is off to all the other ofw's around the world! you guys are truly modern day heroes ). Not being able to see your loved ones is like a hunger which you can't fulfill. Hayz. I know what you're thinking! that i should do this for my family, give them a better future. I've heard all that crap before. What can i say ? i guess that is right. After everything that they have done for me, I should pay them back by giving everything that they have ever wanted. I know it's a tall mountain to climb, But, I will do everything in my power to achieve this. Even if that means being away from them. Not being able to see them. Not being able to talk to them. Crying each night because i miss them so badly. hayz. Life is never fair.. ='(