something is still missing..

I have so many things going for me. I don't know why, but I think lady luck is on my side now. Money is finally coming my way. I can buy all the stuff that I only dreamt of having before. At the same time, I can also help finance the schooling of my sisters. Not bad for a 21 yr old dude. hehe. I'm also living with a great bunch of people. They're so kind and considerate. I really feel right at home when i'm with them. I'm so thankful that i'm living with them right now. Another great aspect of my life right now is school. I really enjoy being with my classmates. When we're all together, it's all jokes and silliness. I can best describe it as a laughfest. Damn, i miss those guys. With regard to the actual school stuff, it's somewhat difficult. It involves a lot of research and writing. I think ii can manage. As you all know, I love to write. Even if all these things are going for me right now, I still feel that there's something missing. Something is not right here. To be honest, i really have no idea what it is. I still feel lonely and miserable. Maybe it's because i'm yearning for my family, maybe it's beacause I so dearly want to be with athena, maybe it's my desire to be with all of my friends back home, or maybe it's because i'm still in love with mimi. I really hope I can figure out what's wrong. Damn !

i miss this grl..

i miss you mimi !

school is cool ?

When I was a student back home, I never really enjoyed going to school. I'd just rather stay home and rest all day. But here, oh my.. I want to go to school everyday! I met some very interesting people and had a freakishly good time with them ( that's an understatement! ). Uhhmm, where can I start ? When I got into our lecture theater, it seemed that majority of them knew each other. They were just chatting and chatting. Listening to their chatter bored me to death so I decided to take a little nap. When I woke up, A guy was coming my way. He was telling his friends that he wanted to sit beside me because he wanted to have a guy talk. He was a nice dude so we hit it off immediately. He introduced me to his girlfriend and friend. We ended up eating lunch at a certain fast food joint. After sitting through an eternity of lectures and discussions, the day finally ended. My new friends were kind enough to let me stay in their hotel room. That night would be outrageous, we just didn't stop laughing. We talked about vibrators, mareng gitang, becoming british ( not taking the proper amount of baths ), the never ending news reports, the weather, etc.. I was so lucky that I was able to find a great set of friends. I just feel so comfortable and happy when i'm with them. The next night was even more fantastic. We bought a pizza and a couple of beers. Two more people joined the group. During that time our hotel room was rockin ! There were no dull moments, just pure unadulterated fun ! damn ! I can't wait till july ! peace out..

i just can't...

My last entry in this blog was about always being mistaken as a chinese dude. Well, after writing that, I decided to text someone very special to me. I texted mimi ! To be honest, I really thought that what I felt for her was gradually fading out. I haven't been thinking of her for a while now. I thought I was finally moving on. Geez, I was wrong ! She sent me a message earlier. It was about some stuff that I prefer to not talk about. When I saw her picture, my God ! I felt a sudden burst of excitement. She's so pretty ! I really miss her so much. Who am I kidding, i'm still so in love with her. It's as if a wall has crumbled inside of me. Hayz. I just can't forget her. ;(

what the f*ck.. i'm not chinese !

People here in London are always asking if i'm chinese. Not a day passes by when i'm not mistaken as a chinese dude. Geez, I don't even think that I look like one. When i'm at work, people keep asking if i'm a monk or do I know any kung fu. What the f*ck. I was on my way to the market earlier. While I was walking, two women called me and said "ni hao" ( mimi told me that it means hello ). I quickly told them that i'm not chinese and i'm a Filipino. Geez, for the record, I'M NOT CHINESE!!! I'M ONE M'FUCKIN PROUD FILIPINO!!! Did you get that ? peace out !

thank you for calling technical support..

Thank you for choosing AT&T internet services, my name is henri, how may I help you today ? That is my opening spill when I was still an agent in Convergys. I miss being an agent. I had really nice friends there. We did nothing but joke around all day ! I literally mean that. Hehe. If I was given a choice, I would have just stayed in the Philippines and continued my career as an agent. The money was good and the job was not that stressful. If only I can turn back the hands of time. Hayz.

there's always a rainbow after a storm

My life was quite miserable when I got here in the UK. Well, things are finally turning around. I think the storm has passed and i'm seeing a rainbow ( i took this photo when I went to Whipp's cross hospital ). I just moved ! I'm now living with a wonderful Filipino family. They are so good to me. They are treating me as if i'm a relative. They are only charging me a very small amount for my accomodation here. Ther are also feeding me, now isn't that great ? While i'm staying here, I think i'll be able to save a lot of money. Even if it was my break today, I still went to my workplace because I needed to talk to the manager. After talking to her, I suddenly bumped into the new nurse of the home. OMG ! She's a Filipina ! I talked to her, she's a very nice lady. I'm so happy that beside from us, there is now another Filipino in my workplace. After talking to the nurse, I decided to have a seat in the lobby. While I was sitting there and staring blankly into space, I noticed that there was someone who was looking at me. It was a new carer. OMG ! She's cute. Oh by the way, she's also a Filipina. Haha ! While she was staring at me, I asked her, Pinoy ? She said, oo ! Then we had a nice little chat. She's really nice, I like her. Haha ! I'm glad that nice things are finally happening to me. I hope that this will go on !

the things that i will do when i get home.

1. umuwi sa bahay.
2. bu2hatin c athena
3. bi2lhan ng mga gamit ang family.
4. tumambay sa tapat ng bahay namin ksma ang tropa.
5. mag baraha sa garahe nila bot.
6. mag baskitbol sa court.
7. pumunta sa starbucks sm perbyu para magkape.
8. mag inom sa gerry's trinoma.
9. kitain ang starbucks buddies.
10. mag yosi sa morayta.
11. pumasok sa feu.
12. isurprise c meow.
13. isurprise c tara frog. ( dapat isurprise ku din c jd, kaso i4got kng san ung hauz nya eh.)
14. kitain ang other friends.
15. pumunta sa ISA.
16. mag pa outing.
17. mag finance ng isang family gathering.
18. bumili ng isang katerbang shuz. ( mega panget ang mga shuz d2 sa uk eh. )
19. mag cmba sa mga peburit ko na cmbahan.
20. mag chill sa bahay.

i can't think of anything to write about..

I started writing on this blog a year ago, it was for a certain person which i'm sure all of you know. Since we ended things up, I stopped writing. I only resumed writing when I came here to London. Living by yourself is a very stressful situation, you just have so many things to worry about. Sometimes, I just want to lie in bed and cry all day. It's that hard! I know I have my family and friends back home. But I really don't want them to find out how miserable I am here. I really don't want them to worry. That's why I just tell them that I am fine here. Writing on this blog helps me release all the tension, stress and loneliness that I feel. I don't really care how many people read my postings. I don't care about what they will say about what I wrote. I write because it calms my mind and my heart. It's my own personal yoga. You may say i'm a geek or nerd. UHHHmmm.. F*ck you.. bwahaha!

I want to give a shoutout to my xi, ms. JADE ELAINE FLORA ! Thanks for putting the link. I miss ya!


visit her blog.. nativechicken.blogspot.com


peace out !

the best of my love..

Have you ever met that one person which you so dearly love. But unfortunately, nothing ever happened between the two of you. Most people label them as, the one who got away. You see, there's this girl which I can't get out of my mind. She's really smart and pretty. Everything that I ever wanted in a girl was in her. I desperately tried so hard to be with her. Well, you guys know what happened. I am now halfway around the world from her. It's been a long time since we last spoke. But she's still the one who I see in my dreams. I really do still love her and I don't think that will be changing anytime soon. Never have I felt this way for someone before. A couple of months back, she asked me what song comes into my mind when I think of her. During that time, I was listening to the best of my love by the eagles. I really didn't know what the song was about. It was the first time that I was listening to it. The title was sweet, so I said that it was my song for her. A couple of minutes ago, I was about to doze off when again she entered my mind ( damn! I miss you so much.. I won't give her name.. ). I suddenly remembered the song, so I downloaded it. After listening to it, I felt kinda weird. The things that happened to us and the lyrics of the song, it's as if it was the soundtrack of whatever it is that we had. Here's a part of the song, take a look.





THE BEST OF MY LOVE

(Eagles)


(D. Henley, G. Frey, J. D. Souther)


Every night I'm lyin' in bed

holdin' you close in my dreams,

thinkin' about all the things that we said

and comin' apart at the seams.



We try to talk it over

but the words come out too rough.

I know you were tryin'

to give me the best of your love.





oh, oh, oh, sweet darling,

you'll get the best of my love.





Translation:



1st stanza:

Up to this day, she's still the one. She has this certain quality that just makes me wanna hug her so tight ( im not a perv!). For me, she personifies the word perfect. When i'm lonely, all I do is replay in my mind the times that we were together. And it never fails to make me smile. I even put a picture of her in my phone. So that I can see her cute little face whenever I want. Could I be more pathetic ? I know that we will never have a happy ending. But there is a part of me which is hoping that a miracle will happen and she is suddenly at my front door. I really miss her so much.

2nd stanza:

When I was courting her, I turned into a DICK! I really treated her badly. I became a big jerk. Let's just say that I was hungry for some time and attention. Unfortunately, she had very little to give. I deserve all the blame for everything that has happened. She didn't really deserve that kind of treatment. Of all the times to screw up and be stupid. Hayz. Once she said to me that I was very important and special to her. That made me the happiest person on the planet. I thought that it was sure that we were gonna be together. Well, so much for my happy ending. On the eve of the Pacquiao vs De La Hoya fight, she said that we needed to talk ( we all know what happens when girls want to talk to you! ). She told me that it's time to stop. She can't return the love that I was giving to her. Her last words were, I really tried to love you.

3rd stanza:

I think it's kinda obvious, I'm still crazy about her.


If you're reading this, I really miss you so much. Hope that you will come here. I'm doing my best to keep my promise to you. I'm working my ass off. I want to see your cute smile again. =)

I've been here for a month now..

By now, I should no longer be lonely. I should now be well adjusted and adapted to my new home. Unfortunately, it isn't happening. I'm still so freaking lonely. Fuck! I'm really so miserable down here. The sad thing is, I don't have anyone to help or console me. I can't tell my family because i'm really sure that they will worry about me ( especially my mamita ! ). The last thing I want to do is make t hem sad because of worrying about me. I can tell my friends about how I feel. But, let's be realistic. I know they won't always be there for me. They all have their own problems to face and lives to live. How I wish I had a girlfirend back home. If I had one, i'm sure she'll be there whenever I need someone. She'll be there whenever loneliness is knocking on my door. Hayz. If only things between Mimi and I worked out. If only Dora didn't left. If only, if only if only.. That's the only thing in my mind right now. Damn! I really want to go home.